July 2023
Happy July! Summer weather has finally arrived and it’s toasty. Let’s see how long we can withstand this year’s summer before begging for cooler weather again.
My recent birthday in June marks the last 12 months in my thirties 😭 My two eldest sons are both in high school now. As I find myself at a stage in life where introspection becomes a natural inclination, I am becoming increasingly aware of the fleeting nature of time. It is with this sense of reflection that I share an uneasy quote that has always stuck with me.
“You probably never thought about this, but around 90% of the time that you will have spent with your parents was done from the ages of 0 to 18.”
— Donn Felker
Or in the case of my older boys, I have already spent roughly 75% of their 90% of time in their lives.
A few weeks ago, we received a kind invitation from a cherished family friend to attend a graduation celebration in honor of her 18-year-old son. She is bidding farewell to her beloved angel as he embarks on his college journey. As a thoughtful gesture, she came up with a brilliant idea of having all the party attendees anonymously share their valuable life lessons and advice on a card stock and to secretly insert in the slit of a lockbox for him to treasure and look over later on. I found this incredibly priceless and inspired me to share a nugget of value many can bring to their kids or loved ones. I challenged you to watch the 6-minute video below. Warning-it’s a tearjerker. Or it could just be me as I’m hopelessly sentimental and a crier.
One of my core pillars of family offices at Alta Private Wealth is family governance. Helping facilitate communication, decision-making, and the preservation of family values across generations. I hope you found the video inspirational and below is an easy way to get started by Jay Sherwin-Life Review Adviser
Peace and Blessings!
How do I start?
There is no one “right way” to write a legacy letter – everyone’s letter is different and yours should come from your heart, not a template. But here is a simple, six-part model that you may find helpful as a way to organize your thoughts and begin writing:
- Introduction
- Choose a salutation
- Explain why you are writing a legacy letter
- Tell Your Story
- Imagine a reader who will never meet you
- Describe a few important choices you’ve made or key moments in your life
- What really defines you? How do you want to be remembered?
- Focus on lessons and insights – what you’ve learned, not what you’ve achieved
- Share Your Values
- What are the fundamental values and principles you believe in?
- What are the practices that help people to “lead a good life”?
- How do your stories reflect those values, principles and practices?
- Express Gratitude
- Who are you grateful to? What are you grateful for?
- How have others enriched your life?
- Reflect on Y our Regrets
- When did you fail to live up to your values?
- What do you wish you’d done differently?
- What have you learned from your regrets?
- Offer Blessings and Guidance
- Be generous, wise and hopeful – not critical, judgmental or directive
- Use “I hope” or “I wish” language, not “I expect” or “You must”
- Ask yourself: How can I help my loved ones to be all that I hope they can be?
- Shape your own legacy: “I hope you will think of me when you….”
A few more details to consider
**Think about when to share your letter – either before or after the end of your life – and with whom you want to share it. Once it’s written, keep a digital version and a printed copy of your letter, ideally on durable acid-free paper. Be sure to keep your printed letter with your other important papers, or give a copy to a trusted friend or family member, so your loved ones know where to find it.
(1) https://www.uc.edu/content/dam/refresh/cont-ed-62/olli/22-winter/legacy%20letter%20summary.pdf